Today I had breakfast duty. Subbing always leads to random things you never imagined yourself doing, and today was no different. At 9 o'clock I reported to the elementary cafeteria to help students navigate the breakfast routine, but mostly to remind them to walk, not run.
It was the fourth day of school, so most kids were still figuring things out. Kindergartners entered with crisp new clothes purchased big enough that they could get some wear out of them. Their big, overwhelmed eyes took in the cafeteria and other students as they slowly managed to find a seat with their gigantic plastic trays. If I saw a bowl of cereal and a carton of milk on their tray, but no utensils, I would softly remind them to pick up a spoon. I gestured with a smile and an extended arm where available spots were to sit.
Some mothers were present as well, helping their small students transition and get their breakfast started. As I scanned the room, I noticed a young Latino mother eating with her two children. An Asian mom was hovering, watching as her small boy hesitantly found a seat at a table. An African mom lingered at the doorway, her body positioned halfway behind the door frame, unsure if she should come in to check on her son, or if she should head home. The connection these mothers had with their children could almost be seen, as if a line was drawn from their hearts to their children's. The moms lingered, unable to leave their children who seemed ever so vulnerable in the large cafeteria. I felt for them, not because I have any children of my own, but because I saw how tiny their children were, how small and helpless they seemed.
No matter that these children could throw tantrums like nobody's business. They probably have been known to make sticky messes on every surface at home. They've probably colored on things they shouldn't have, and pulled their sister's hair in an argument. These aren't perfect children, but they're vulnerable. They're small. They could easily get lost in the sea of students.
I understood the lingering mothers. It didn't matter what skin color any of us had, or if we were mothers or not. All of us adults in the room - parents, teachers, helpers, cooks, subs - we all wanted the best for those kids. We all wanted to proect them, to help them, to nurture them, and to love them.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Sunday, September 6, 2009
My Garden Song
On the first day of this week my garden gave to me....
On the second day of this week my garden gave to me
and 1 and 1/2 wrinkly zucchini
2 green bell peppers
and 1 and 1/2 wrinkly zucchini
1 and 1/2 wrinkly zucchini
On the second day of this week my garden gave to me
Two green bell peppers
and 1 and 1/2 wrinkly zucchiniOn the third day of this week my garden gave to me
3 red tomatoes
2 green bell peppersand 1 and 1/2 wrinkly zucchini
On the fourth day of this week my garden gave to me
215 green beans
Yes, listen as this song comes to a screeching halt. I said it. Two-hundred fifteen green beans. No exaggeration. I counted them myself just to see how many there were!
Zac got his wish - we certainly have green beans on hand! We've been harvesting at least this many each week for the last two weeks. Today when I was picking I saw new flowers blossoming. Looks like we'll be eating green beans for awhile!
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
The kid in me
Today we had a father-son duo come cut down some large, dead branches that were on our trees. I was privileged to be standing by the kitchen window when the big 30-foot branch came down. I couldn't hold it in, I giggled in delight as it crashed to the ground, busted into three pieces and made the coolest sound ever. I'm so glad I saw that!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Expectations
Summer's coming to a close for me, which means time for some much-needed reflection. I have had this summer off, as I'm a substitute teacher now, and here's what I thought the summer would hold:
Spend time remodeling the house. Spend considerable time putting my feet up in the backyard and reading a good book. Visit every local park. Learn how to cook really good things. Visit with friends. Volunteer. Brush up on my Spanish. Brush up on my guitar. Brush up on all things teaching-related. Learn to play the drums. Spend time securing full-time employment for next year. Eradicate creeping charlie from the yard. Make those darn curtains that I bought the fabric for a year ago. Reupholster the couches. Give the house a really good, deep clean. Grow amazing things in the garden. Be superwife. Be superfriend. Be super.
Here's what the summer actually contained:
Laundry. Lots of laundry. Basic cleaning of the house, not nearly as frequently as I wanted to. Making lists of all the things I should do. Making new lists. Spending countless hours filling out online applications for teaching jobs. Trying to use up produce in the fridge before it went bad. Getting sucked into the computer (much like right now). Running errands around town. Going through the mail. Filling out paperwork. Picking up after myself. Mowing the lawn. Weeding the yard so the neighbors wouldn't be embarrassed to live next to us.
Sometimes when I look back over it all, I feel like a failure. I didn't do half the things I wanted to do. I wasn't very "productive" in my terms of productivity. I didn't do the things I set out to do. But I can't let my story stop there. I can't look at it this way, for my sake, and for the sake of the actual events that took place.
This summer wasn't nearly what I thought it would be, but I learned some major life lessons. I learned that I can still burn out without working at a full-time job. I get to doing too much and planning too much and I can still work myself into a migraine being at home.
I learned that I have poor time-management. Not that I don't do enough with the time I have, but I don't have a realistic idea of how long things are going to take, so I plan too much and feel discouraged when it doesn't all get done.
I was reminded that my worth doesn't come from how many things are checked off on the to-do list. My worth comes from being a child of God. I don't earn the love of friends and family, they give it to me freely, regardless of what I accomplish.
I have to fight for free time, sometimes that even means fighting myself and my busybody instincts.
I have to fight to truly live. Days can march by fairly mundane unless I make a point to seize the day in some wonderful adventure. Nobody is going to force me outside on a beautiful day; I must choose to sit in the sun before the snow covers the grass for another season.
AND, if I look back on the summer for what it actually was, here's what it was like:
Spent time weeding the yard and garden; have the satisfaction of enjoying the fresh produce, able to grow without the hindrance of weeds. Spent time with best friend and godson; godson now smiles when I drive up to their home. Spent time with friends in transition - those mourning the loss of a child and those celebrating the arrival of a baby. Spent time volunteering at old workplace; able to give back to a place that has given me much. Volunteered at church; now kids at church know me and come talk to me, also had the gift of holding little hands and seeing God through children's eyes. Spent two very memorable weeks with younger cousins; strengthened family bonds and came to love and appreciate them even more. Began paperwork for our adoption - what can be said about this except YES! That certainly was time well-spent and we can't wait for the reward on that one, to be able to hold our child in our arms. I DID get to read some books for fun, and really enjoyed that gift. I DID get to work on the house a little and make progress at remodeling. I DID make a touch of progress on the curtains; I bought more of the materials and have an idea of how to start. And I DID learn to cook new things -some were great, others I don't think I'll try again. :)
How can I sum up a whole summer? When I look back, it wasn't what I thought it would be, but it was truly wonderful for what it was. I loved being able to choose my own schedule. I loved having the days to myself (my introverted self really loved this). I loved being able to care for Zac by making most of our suppers and getting chores done so we'd have free time after dinner. I loved sitting next to a window. I loved no responsibility. I loved it.
Thank you, God, for a free summer. Thanks for time to reflect. Thanks for the things you taught me. Thanks for new adventures around the corner.
Spend time remodeling the house. Spend considerable time putting my feet up in the backyard and reading a good book. Visit every local park. Learn how to cook really good things. Visit with friends. Volunteer. Brush up on my Spanish. Brush up on my guitar. Brush up on all things teaching-related. Learn to play the drums. Spend time securing full-time employment for next year. Eradicate creeping charlie from the yard. Make those darn curtains that I bought the fabric for a year ago. Reupholster the couches. Give the house a really good, deep clean. Grow amazing things in the garden. Be superwife. Be superfriend. Be super.
Here's what the summer actually contained:
Laundry. Lots of laundry. Basic cleaning of the house, not nearly as frequently as I wanted to. Making lists of all the things I should do. Making new lists. Spending countless hours filling out online applications for teaching jobs. Trying to use up produce in the fridge before it went bad. Getting sucked into the computer (much like right now). Running errands around town. Going through the mail. Filling out paperwork. Picking up after myself. Mowing the lawn. Weeding the yard so the neighbors wouldn't be embarrassed to live next to us.
Sometimes when I look back over it all, I feel like a failure. I didn't do half the things I wanted to do. I wasn't very "productive" in my terms of productivity. I didn't do the things I set out to do. But I can't let my story stop there. I can't look at it this way, for my sake, and for the sake of the actual events that took place.
This summer wasn't nearly what I thought it would be, but I learned some major life lessons. I learned that I can still burn out without working at a full-time job. I get to doing too much and planning too much and I can still work myself into a migraine being at home.
I learned that I have poor time-management. Not that I don't do enough with the time I have, but I don't have a realistic idea of how long things are going to take, so I plan too much and feel discouraged when it doesn't all get done.
I was reminded that my worth doesn't come from how many things are checked off on the to-do list. My worth comes from being a child of God. I don't earn the love of friends and family, they give it to me freely, regardless of what I accomplish.
I have to fight for free time, sometimes that even means fighting myself and my busybody instincts.
I have to fight to truly live. Days can march by fairly mundane unless I make a point to seize the day in some wonderful adventure. Nobody is going to force me outside on a beautiful day; I must choose to sit in the sun before the snow covers the grass for another season.
AND, if I look back on the summer for what it actually was, here's what it was like:
Spent time weeding the yard and garden; have the satisfaction of enjoying the fresh produce, able to grow without the hindrance of weeds. Spent time with best friend and godson; godson now smiles when I drive up to their home. Spent time with friends in transition - those mourning the loss of a child and those celebrating the arrival of a baby. Spent time volunteering at old workplace; able to give back to a place that has given me much. Volunteered at church; now kids at church know me and come talk to me, also had the gift of holding little hands and seeing God through children's eyes. Spent two very memorable weeks with younger cousins; strengthened family bonds and came to love and appreciate them even more. Began paperwork for our adoption - what can be said about this except YES! That certainly was time well-spent and we can't wait for the reward on that one, to be able to hold our child in our arms. I DID get to read some books for fun, and really enjoyed that gift. I DID get to work on the house a little and make progress at remodeling. I DID make a touch of progress on the curtains; I bought more of the materials and have an idea of how to start. And I DID learn to cook new things -some were great, others I don't think I'll try again. :)
How can I sum up a whole summer? When I look back, it wasn't what I thought it would be, but it was truly wonderful for what it was. I loved being able to choose my own schedule. I loved having the days to myself (my introverted self really loved this). I loved being able to care for Zac by making most of our suppers and getting chores done so we'd have free time after dinner. I loved sitting next to a window. I loved no responsibility. I loved it.
Thank you, God, for a free summer. Thanks for time to reflect. Thanks for the things you taught me. Thanks for new adventures around the corner.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
A Happy House
Our house is happiest when it's filled with people. Today we welcomed 30 guests for a BBQ; these people are going on Youth Encounter teams next year, and many of them are from other countries. What a blessing it was to hear people chatting in German, Danish, Swahili, French, and English!
I loved the sounds of laughter floating up from the backyard, and the way each room was filled with great conversation.
Our house and our family are happiest when our days are filled with people.
I loved the sounds of laughter floating up from the backyard, and the way each room was filled with great conversation.
Our house and our family are happiest when our days are filled with people.
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