Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Oh, Amber

Yesterday started out as the perfect day. The air was crisp, the wind cool, and the sky overcast. I opened the doors and windows of the house to let the breeze blow through. I even opened the basement walk-out door to air out that area. I made sure to put the lock on the screen door so that nobody would come in through the basement and kill me. One needs to think about these things, you know.

Upstairs I did the same; I opened the front door wide to let the breeze come in and make it look like this was a welcoming house. Then, I made sure to lock the screen door. I didn't want any cuckoos coming to the door, posing as salespeople, and killing me.

After seeing to the inside of the house, I deemed it necessary to earn a few wife points by mowing the lawn. (If you don't know about wife points, you'll want to ask my friend Anne. Every wife should know about wife points.) I opened the garage door, yanked the mower to the driveway, and began. It occurred to me that with the garage door open, anyone passing by would be able to see inside the garage and see the tools that Zac has been slowly acquiring. Anyone passing by would most likely want to steal them, and then come inside the house and kill me, so I closed the garage door and began mowing.

Can you see where this is going?

I had three passes of the lawn left when it occurred to me - I had successfully locked myself out of the house. Even the key we put in the "special spot" had no help for me because I locked those screen doors. The only way into the house was through the garage, and my garage door opener was locked in my car. Zac came to the rescue some time later, but that time in between gave me room to think. I sat in the backyard and realized that all my neighbors were home. One of the two guys on the right side was home, the guy on the left was in his backyard, and the wonderful woman down the street was home (as always). Most important of all, I didn't see any suspicious people lurking around the shrubs of any of our backyards, waiting for unlocked doors to use to gain entrance to our homes.

Yesterday's lock-out makes me think that my fears hurt ME the most.

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