Clutter and Control

I've been under a bit of stress lately.  I'm trying to balance home and work and life and hopes and dreams and commitments and everything in between.  At times it can feel overwhelming, and Saturday was one of those days. 

While my dear husband was relaxing, I was frantic and cooped up in the house.  I (of course) created a task list, for better or for worse I'm not sure.  I began trying to complete tasks, but it was one of those days where I would begin one project, get distracted by another, start mixing something in the kitchen, then remember the first project.  You know the days I'm talking about!

Suddenly the whole thing just became too much for me and I was overwhelmed by all the clutter and the messes in the house and I couldn't focus until SOMETHING was cleaned up!

I began attacking the papers on the desk with fervor, putting away things that had been sitting there for months and organizing and paying bills and filing recipes and you name it.  I had to do something.  I had to create some sort of order out of chaos.  I needed to control some part of my life.

Control.

I started thinking about why I was organizing.  What was it for?  What was I trying to accomplish? 

I realized that I was trying to put order to chaos in a tangible way because I couldn't seem to infuse order into the chaos of my life at that point.  Some people eat when they're stressed and some procrastinate.  Me?  I organize.

As I continue thinking on this, I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not.  I feel like that little kid who needs her favorite blanket to relax.  But instead of a blankie, I go for a nice, tall stack of unorganized papers.

Good thing or bad?  I don't know.  But I do know is that it works for me.