Thursday, June 17, 2010

Growing Me

In the midst of my garden challenge, I've been growing too.

There is a craft show this weekend that I'm going to be a part of; it's bigger than anything I've ever done before, and I'm a mix of nerves and excitement as it approaches!

When this show came up, I desperately wanted to do it with some other crafty friends. It felt safer somehow with the buffer of good company. Everyone I asked said no, and I struggled with knowing if I should do it at all. Zac even suggested that I pass on it this year, but something inside of me pushed me forward. I couldn't let go. I decided to do it regardless of who was in on it with me. I decided to do it for me.

I had to scramble to get everything ready. Over the course of the last few weeks, I have had a task list with about 40 items on it. Some tasks took 15 minutes, others an hour and a half. I've put a lot of time into this endeavor, and I hope it goes well.

When I sell my work in a show, I feel very vulnerable. I put my photos out there - some of which signify deep and meaningful times in my life. I sit, watch, and wait to see what others think of the pictures. I have to remind myself that I can't let what they think define how I feel about what I do. I need to keep asking myself, "Do I like my cards? Am I proud of what I've done? Do I see value in what I've done?"

I recognized the growth last night when I was making up my price sheet. Usually my main factor in determining the price of my items is "Would I pay this price for this item?" If the answer is no, I change the price. Last night, though, I held up one of my framed pieces, looked at it and said to myself, "What is this worth? What is my time on this worth? What is the artistic value worth?" I think I'm starting to see what I do as valid, creative, and noteworthy (pun intended).

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