A Full-Time Temporary Employee

In May of 2009, I quit my full-time job without having anything else lined up. It was just time for a change, and it couldn't wait any longer. That decision was crazy and scary and I didn't know what the future would hold.

Well, it's been two years now - two years - and I have never been without. God has provided all sorts of odd jobs and unique opportunities for me to help make ends meet. I have stories of how I have seen unexpected money come in to cover car repair bills and adoption expenses nearly to the dollar. I am amazed.

In the last two years, there have been only a handful of days where I wanted work but could not find it. Otherwise, I have been busy and even been turning away work because I have more opportunities than hours in the day.

Somehow or other, my pieced-together temporary jobs have become a full-time gig. Who would have thought?!? Tonight I had to change my cell phone message to let teachers know that I am booked for subbing through the rest of this school year. Amazing.


Lord, help me to use past experiences of your faithfulness to trust you with my future. Remind me of your goodness and your care.

Give What Each One Needs

I carefully nudged each plant out of the black plastic containers. The small plantings fell into my hand and the dirt slipped through my fingers. I picked up my spade and chose each one's new home in the flower pot. My favorite part was pushing the dirt back into the hole, covering the roots and stabilizing the plant.

I felt particular concern for one little set of white impatiens. They were so little! As I moved the dirt around them, I did it more gently than when I was working with the other plants. I carefully worked around the thin stems and gave the plant extra support. When I watered this little one, I was watching to make sure I only watered close to the dirt and didn't wilt the stems by pouring from too high up.

This reminded me of some seminars I have attended this year on teaching. While I certainly won't be able to articulate it as well as the presenters I've seen, I do think it's worth noting. When we think of how students should be treated in schools, we often think it should be the same, or equal. However, we would not want a doctor to give us all the same prescription if we had different symptoms! A good school is not one where they are giving all students the same kind of attention/education/assignments. A good school is one where the staff is giving all students what they need. To be fair to all students, we have to give each student what they need, and hold each student to their own individual highest standard.

In order to be fair to my plants tonight, I had to give them different treatment. In order for each of them to thrive, I had to find out what each needed. My little white impatiens needed some careful planting, so I gave them careful planting. My tomato plants needed rich soil, so I added compost. My basil plant needed protection from the rabbits, so I put a cage around it. My marigolds needed water, so I gave them extra water.

I hope all my plants will thrive this year because I looked for what they needed and gave it to them. I hope the same for all the students I see each day.

Walking Together

Some special people in my life are going through a hard time right now. It's hard for me to know what to say and what to do. Sometimes I feel small and helpless compared to the large, overwhelming situation.

I don't always know if or how I can ease their hurting hearts, but I do know one thing. I can walk with them.

I'm learning what it looks like to walk beside someone in their pain. I'm learning what it means to simply be with that person.

I think there's a lot of value in that.

Three Hugs and a Rock

Last week I found out that the media center assistant at my favorite school was going to be leaving. I grieved with the staff at that school because she was absolutely amazing at her job. I wondered what they would do in her absence and how they would finish out the school year.

Then a light bulb went on in my head! I wondered if I could fill in for her to finish out the school year...


Tuesday was my first day helping out in the library! Part of my duties include supervising students as they walk in from the buses. As I stood outside that first morning to remind kids to walk, to look out for any kids who stumbled, etc., I was surprised to hear a chorus of "Hey Mrs. Harder!" So many students greeted me as they walked in! If I had been having a bad day before that, I certainly wasn't now!

Some of the students whose classrooms I have subbed in before greeted me with hugs, and one student even opened my hand to place a small, smooth rock in my palm. I don't know what I did to receive that special gift from him!

Can you imagine what a happy place the world would be if each person got to start their day out that way? I hope I can give the kids such a warm welcome to school in return.

Divorce Hurts

I woke up crying in the middle of the night on Saturday. I was remembering how Zac sat me down to tell me he wanted a divorce. I cried for how alone I felt, for how altered my future plans were now, and for fear of how I would financially survive without him.

I blinked around the dark room, still sobbing audibly.

I wiped my eyes again and tried to get my bearings.

Wait a minute.

This was the middle of the night. Zac didn't just sit me down to announce his intention to divorce me. Was this just a bad dream?

My mind offered a resounding YES! It was only in a dream that Zac wanted to divorce me.

Even though I started understanding that this was just a bad dream and that I was still happily married, I couldn't stop crying. The feelings of hurt and betrayal felt so real. It was crazy. I ached in the pit of my stomach.

Unfortunately Zac wasn't home, but I needed so badly to hear his voice and have him tell me that this was indeed just a dream. I needed to hear him say he loved me and that he would promise to be with me forever.

The clock read 4:18am as I dialed his number. It was very early in the morning, but I desperately needed his reassurance. He came through for me.

As I reflect on my bad dream, my heart hurts for those who don't wake up from this scenario; for those whom this is their reality. I got a small taste of the tough emotions that come with divorce, and I erupted in sobs. I have no idea how people work through this daily. Please pray with me today for those who have been through or are going through a divorce. It must hurt something awful. I do believe it's one of those things you can never fully recover from.