Monday, June 4, 2012

So, How's it Going?

As I sit here at Caribou, it would be easy to pretend that everything was the same.  I'm sitting at my favorite corner table, the summer sun is coming through the windows as it has many times before, I have my usual summer drink in hand, and I'm typing on my 7-year-old laptop. 

But as much as it feels like it used to, and a part of me wants it to be like it used to, things are so different now.  My life has been turned completely upside down by a little 23 lb person. 

Many people ask me, "So, how's it going?"  It's hard to know how to answer that.  It has been wonderful having Feven here and it is such a privilege to be her mom.  She is doing phenomenally well, and me...well...I'm figuring it out.

Parenthood has been by the far the most amazing thing that I have gotten to experience in life.  But, as with any change, it isn't easy.  Zac and I have had 7 years as a married couple to figure out life together, and I've only been figuring out life with a child for 7 WEEKS.

I'm a perfectionist (we can talk about that some other day), and one of the most challenging things for me has been realizing that I can't do as much as I used to do.  And I wasn't getting it all done before.  I'm having a hard time letting go of expectations for myself, and being okay with "good" rather than "great."

I'm realizing that the most important thing on my task list for each day is to love the people under my roof.  Facebook and email can wait.  Returning phone calls can wait.  Mowing the lawn can wait.  Picking up the house can wait. 

Caring for the people under my roof is my #1 priority right now. 

That in itself is a HUGE paradigm shift.  Each day I'm understanding more and more what it means.  Some days I have a lot of success, and other days I fail.  Failures bring lessons and successes bring hope. 

So, how's it going?  Feven's doing great.  And me?  Well, I'm getting there.  :) 

1 comment:

  1. I completely understand. I'll call sometime this week. We'll chat :-)