Monday, August 22, 2011

Amber the Victor

If you've been following my blog, you know about my little run-in with two centipedes in the basement. Well, friends, the war continues!

Last night as I was tucking myself into bed, I noticed a mosquito on the wall, right at the top near the ceiling. Nobody wants to wake up to the hum of a mosquito in their ear, so I decided to get it before it got me. Zac wasn't home, so I looked around for something to stand on to make me taller. The step stool was too far away, so I decided to pursue another route - the Swiffer Sweeper.

This was going to be beautiful. Not only would the long broom handle enable me to reach up high, but I wouldn't actually have to kill the mosquito with my hands! I opened the closet door to get it, and there was a spider!

Oh dear. Now which one to get? If I go for the spider, will the mosquito fly away? If I go for the mosquito, will the spider hide? I decided to go for the ugliest first - the spider.

After taking care of him, I moved onto the mosquito with my Swiffer Sweeper in hand. Oh, it felt great! I got him and was just about to put my weapon down when I saw a long dark object tucked near the wall. You guessed it - one of the centipedes back for revenge!

Turns out a Swiffer Sweeper can be a multi-purpose tool. I slammed the edge of it onto the centipede and got him! I pulled the broom back and his little legs were all over the swiffer cloth. Gone! The tough part was getting so close to his dead body to pull the swiffer off the broom. Ew! I tried to blur my eyes a little so I wouldn't have to see all the gory details. (Yes, I realize this is just a centipede but EW!)

I threw the swiffer away and thought I had better reload just in case there was anymore funny business. It was pretty ridiculous, after all, that I had killed three bugs within 5 feet of my bed in 5 minutes! What was going on here?

Upon entering the bedroom again, I heard a buzz, then a clatter which sounded like a flying bug hitting the wall. I looked down to spot a HUGE grasshopper beside my bed! Where in the world did this guy come from?

Luckily, I was still armed, so I slammed the Swiffer Sweep onto the grasshopper. I gingerly lifted it up, and he started to move! I slammed it down again, then was too afraid to lift it up! I ran to the bathroom to load up on kleenex. It's always better when you can give yourself some extra padding so your hand never touches the bug. I quickly lifted up the Swiffer Sweeper, grabbed the bug, threw it into a garbage bag, and tied that thing tight!

Placing the garbage bag near the front door, I walked cautiously back to my bedroom. What would be next? The intruders were getting progressively larger, and I had just killed 4 bugs in 10 minutes. FOUR BUGS! This has to be some kind of a record for me.

I'll be honest, I was not excited to get into my bed. What noises would I hear? What might -ew- crawl across me in the night? The risks were great, but it was getting late.

I placed my Swiffer Sweeper beside my bed, just in case the battle was to continue...

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