Lose a Ton Lessons - Obligatory Possessions

There are many reasons items stay in my house, but over the course of this endeavor I learned how many things I have kept out of sheer obligation.  Sometimes these items were Christmas gifts, Bridal Shower gifts, or even Wedding gifts that I felt so bad getting rid of because I cared deeply for the person who gave it to me...I just didn't care for the item.  It's sad to report, but I even came across a few wedding gifts that I have yet to use.  And it's been 8 years since I said, "I do."

I also hung onto some stuff too long because it was in good condition and I "should" use it...even though I didn't like it for one reason or another.  Or I hung onto it because I would use it someday at a big family gathering...like Feven's high school graduation party.  After I did the math on that one and realized how long I had kept the item already and how much longer I would have to keep it to use it at Feven's graduation, I quickly put it in the "sell" pile.

The overwhelming realization of how much STUFF I have kept out of obligation came to me initially as I was going through the kitchen cupboards.  Here is an excerpt from my journal that day:

Today I started going through the kitchen cupboards and I couldn't stop!  It was so much fun!  There is such a freedom in this exercise.  Get rid of that pan that I never use?  Yes!  More space in the cupboard!  Toss out that broken vase?  Yes!  Give myself permission to get rid of that 9x13 pan I hate to cook in (even though it has a lid?)?  Yes! 

Tonight I started to peel off a little bit of the obligation I walk around wearing.  Even though that special person gave me that _______ for a graduation/Christmas/wedding gift, it's okay to get rid of it if I want to.  This is my kitchen and my home.  And if the item is just collecting dust anyway, what's the point in keeping it?

Keeping things around out of assumed obligation is just plain silly.

Lose a Ton - WE DID IT!

A quick post to say CONGRATULATIONS to the Lose a Ton cohort!  Collectively we removed 2,001 pounds of stuff from our homes this month.  Some members are still going, so our total will continue to increase, but I had to give a shout out to the group because they have been working SO HARD!

Woo-hoo team!  You made it happen!

Lose A Ton Lessons - How Things Define Us

It's easy to let clutter in and it's even easier to let it stay.  Getting rid of things can be so difficult because it forces us to pinpoint where our stuff and the purpose of our life intersects.  Once we see how these two things relate to one another, we can begin to look through our possessions with a lens that is helpful for weeding out stuff that has become clutter and keeping the things that are useful and beneficial to who we are and where we're going.

I often wonder what would happen if someone I didn't know took a tour through my home.  Who would they think I was based on what they saw?  What would they think our dinners looked like if they opened up the fridge and the pantry?  What games would they think we played the most often based on what they found in the game closet?  What idea would they have about our family relationships based on the photographs on the wall?  Would they know I am a Christian and if so, how?

What does my stuff say about me?  And more interestingly, what does my stuff say TO me?

On Day 8 of my "official" 10-day challenge, I dug out a box of old notes, journals, and poems from high school.  Not only were these funny to read as I took them out one by one, but it was also SUPER embarrassing to read them again.  I wrote so many bad poems about unrequited love!  I also had a lot of depressed journals and poems where I was convinced the world didn't understand me and couldn't relate to what I was going through.  Oh, the life of a teenager.  Reading these things again brought me back to that lonely place and I thought, "Why on earth am I still hanging onto these?"  I don't want these things popping up intermittently throughout my life to remind me of who I was then.  These are not helpful to building me up and quite honestly I think I would change my name and move to a remote island if anyone I knew EVER read these bad poems!  I can't believe I lugged all those stupid things through 4 moves in my life.  Sheesh!  They are not helping me carry out my life's purpose nor are they helping me to build my self-confidence.  No more.  They are going in the campfire.

Let go of the pieces of your past that make you cringe and hang onto the pieces that make you hold your head higher.

(While you're doing that, I suggest you let this play in the background.)

Lose a Ton Update

Our cohort is working hard and weeding out things we no longer need or no longer use (or just plain don't like!).  I am so proud of our group - together we have removed 1,868 pounds from our homes and we're still tossing over the next 7 days!

My basement is an absolute disaster right now with tables set up holding boxes and messy heaps of discarded items.  I look at the items sitting there and have not once been tempted to take back an item!  I'm eagerly anticipating our garage sale next weekend to sell off these unused items to others who will love them and use them.  I've started praying for our garage sale - that the people who come would find just what they need there.  I can't wait to see what happens!

This challenge wasn't always easy for me; many times I'd wait until the end of the day to begin finding my 10 pounds when I was tired and just wanted to go to bed!  I'm so thankful I pushed through and did it, though.  Especially in the tough times!  The discipline of this exercise has given me a new lens with which I view stuff.  As items come through my door now, I can easily determine if they are keepers or I should discard them, rather than waiting for 5 or 10 years before I part with them still unused.

Over the course of the next week or two I'll share with  you a little more in-depth about the lessons I learned during this project and share with you a few words of wisdom from those who journeyed with me.  It has been a truly great experience!

First ECFE Class (Read: My Baby's Growing Up Too Fast)

Feven and I attended our first Early Childhood and Family Education class together today.  This was not my first experience with ECFE: as a child, my mom took me to ECFE and in high school I worked as a teacher's assistant for our district's ECFE classes.  Even a few years ago Zac and I were required by our adoption agency to attend a class to learn how to care for an infant (no, of course that was not awkward being the only ones in the room without a child and instead bringing our stuffed hippopotamus with us to do all the songs and actions).  Today, though, was my first time being at an ECFE class as a parent - with an actual child - and that was a whole different experience!


Upon entering the building, we saw our dear friends in the hallway and Feven went right over to say hi.  (What, you don't need me every second honey?  Are you sure?)  To help Feven get used to a new space I held her in my arms when we entered the classroom.  She promptly wiggled down to go and play with just about every single toy.  (New space, honey!  Don't you want to cling to my leg?  Aren't you nervous?)  I got to play side-by-side with her for about 20 minutes before it was time to clean up the room for snack.  We washed our hands by the adorable short sinks and then my little girl chose her own seat at a table where nobody was sitting yet.  (Who is going to sit by her?  Does she feel alone?  Please someone sit by my little girl!)  Her friend came bounding over, pulled out a chair and sat right by Feven (phew, she's going to be okay).  I moved away from her to the other side of the room so Feven could interact with her peers and the teachers by herself but still know I was present. 

I watched as a teacher knelt down and showed Feven how to unfold her paper napkin (Oh my word, my little baby's learning how to have snack time!).  Feven was then given a cupful of cheerios and she ate every last one of them (Did they see she's out?  Is she still hungry?  Will she know how to ask for more?).  They came around and gave her another helping which she ate entirely.  The drinking cups were dispersed next, each small plastic cup containing a small portion of water.  I watched as my baby picked it up and drank like a big girl, sitting in her seat the entire time, eating her snack and listening to the story being read.  (She's going to be in Kindergarten in no time and then graduating and then she'll be moving out of the house all too soon!) 


I actually teared up watching her, and my friend who was standing beside me had the grace to not notice or to not say anything.  It's funny how a little thing like watching your kid have a snack during an ECFE class can tug on your emotions.  It was such a small moment, but it symbolized her growing independence and the realization (again) for me that I can't always be there for her or protect her from everything.  I can't go with her everywhere in life to make sure she knows how precious and loved she is.  I have to teach her so she knows it thoroughly inside of her soul that she is precious, loved, strong, capable, talented, smart, funny, and kindhearted so that when I'm not there to whisper those things in her ear she can carry her head high and know that those words are echoing inside of her and emanating from her. 

My baby went to ECFE today.  And I cried.

Lose a Ton: Trial Day 7 - Final Trial Run

Before I was going to publicly ask others to join me in this endeavor to clean out a literal TON of things from our homes, I wanted to make sure it was actually possible.  I didn't want to ask something that would only frustrate or be sure to fail.

I began a week-long trial run about two weeks ago, and throughout this week, I'll share with you my journal entries from that trial.  Click to read about Trial Day 1, Trial Day 2 , Trial Day 3, Trial Day 4, Trial Day 5 and Trial Day 6 here. 

TRIAL DAY 7
10:30pm and I just want to go to bed.  But I committed to this.

While scouring the linen closet before bed for something, I noticed 2 cleaning products I no longer use.  That gave me my idea for today.  I went to a spot in the basement where we store cleaning products (I don't know why we store them there, it makes no sense), and found many cleaners we don't use anymore.  Some I could have saved for that time that I will get a scratch in my "light wood" furniture, but I think by the amount of dust on the bottles that they would be better off in someone else's home or properly disposed of.  I found 8 to eliminate and one spay bottle I thought we got rid of a few years ago!

I'm still scale-less, so I hope these cleaners add up to 10 pounds!


8 pounds when weighed.  I am reminding myself it's not about perfection but about progress!  :)

Our group has officially begun but there's still room for more to join!  We have a private Facebook group where we share stories and encourage one another.  Let me know if you want to join the challenge and I'll add you to our group.  It has been a source of much motivation and inspiration!

Lose a Ton: Trial Day 6

Before I was going to publicly ask others to join me in this endeavor to clean out a literal TON of things from our homes, I wanted to make sure it was actually possible.  I didn't want to ask something that would only frustrate or be sure to fail.

I began a week-long trial run about two weeks ago, and throughout this week, I'll share with you my journal entries from that trial.  Click to read about Trial Day 1, Trial Day 2 , Trial Day 3, Trial Day 4, and Trial Day 5 here. 

TRIAL DAY 6
I attacked kids' clothes today.  We had been previously storing them in small batches according to size, but had multiple small boxes of the same size.  Our hope is to go to the container store and get 1 large bin for each size.

I began by gathering all the clothes boxes, then unpacked them and considered each item.  It was very nostalgic, remembering how little Feven was when she wore those clothes! (Yes, it has only been a year!)

It was pretty easy to go through all the clothes.  I generally had one of two responses:

• Oh, she was so cute in that!  OR
• I never liked how that outfit looked on her

A few clothes were too worn for another child, so those will go in the free box at the garage sale in case any families need more play clothes.

Zac tossed in another tool today too - I bet he's enjoying creating extra work space in the garage.  All in all, a good day!

14 pounds

Our group has officially begun but there's still room for more to join!  We have a private Facebook group where we share stories and encourage one another.  Let me know if you want to join the challenge and I'll add you to our group.  It has been a source of much motivation and inspiration!

Lose a Ton: Trial Day 5

Before I was going to publicly ask others to join me in this endeavor to clean out a literal TON of things from our homes, I wanted to make sure it was actually possible.  I didn't want to ask something that would only frustrate or be sure to fail.

I began a week-long trial run about two weeks ago, and throughout this week, I'll share with you my journal entries from that trial.  Click to read about Trial Day 1, Trial Day 2 , Trial Day 3, and Trial Day 4 here. 

TRIAL DAY 5
Today was a bit of a challenge because our scale broke!  I will have to get a new one to document the weight our house lost today.

I went through the bathroom vanity cabinet today.  We had a lot of duplicate boxes, expired meds, and lotions and soaps that I will honestly never use.  Why hang onto them?  Now we have room for everything to fit comfortably and even have extra space.  This is great because it means I can buy more stuff!  (Just kidding)

Zac tossed in a sawzall from the garage to make sure we could make our weight - don't worry, he wanted to get rid of it anyway!  I'm happy to have created more space in the bathroom cabinet and am thankful that now I can easily access all the items we use frequently.


13 pounds...according to the new scale

Our group has officially begun but there's still room for more to join!  We have a private Facebook group where we share stories and encourage one another.  Let me know if you want to join the challenge and I'll add you to our group.  It has been a source of much motivation and inspiration!

Lose a Ton: Trial Day 4

Before I was going to publicly ask others to join me in this endeavor to clean out a literal TON of things from our homes, I wanted to make sure it was actually possible.  I didn't want to ask something that would only frustrate or be sure to fail.

I began a week-long trial run about two weeks ago, and throughout this week, I'll share with you my journal entries from that trial.  Click to read about Trial Day 1, Trial Day 2 , or Trial Day 3 here. 

TRIAL DAY 4
Today Zac and I tackled our DVD and VHS collection.  That's right, I said VHS collection.  Some movies were pretty easy to put in the sell pile, but I surprised myself with how many times I cried, "Oh, that's a classic!" and moved the DVD in my hand over to the keep pile.

I'm proud of how many we got rid of, but after the first cut we were still .4 pounds short of the 10-pound goal for today.  I went back for a second look with meeting my 10-pound goal in mind....

I came up with an additional 3.2 pounds!  Zac put all of the movies back in the cabinet while I went to weigh the removed ones, and once I saw how nice the cabinet looked with everything (almost) fitting nicely inside, I wanted to remove enough to make everything fit! 

It's interesting how when storage space seems infinite, it's easy to find a reason to keep things.  When there is a limit, decisions come easier. 

12.8 pounds


Our group has officially begun but there's still room for more to join!  We have a private Facebook group where we share stories and encourage one another.  Let me know if you want to join the challenge and I'll add you to our group.  It has been a source of much motivation and inspiration!

Lose a Ton: Trial Day 3

Before I was going to publicly ask others to join me in this endeavor to clean out a literal TON of things from our homes, I wanted to make sure it was actually possible.  I didn't want to ask something that would only frustrate or be sure to fail.

I began a week-long trial run about two weeks ago, and throughout this week, I'll share with you my journal entries from that trial.  Click to read about Trial Day 1 and Trial Day 2 here.  

TRIAL DAY 3
I absolutely LOVED the project I embarked on today.  Not only did it help me get rid of stuff but it also provide some much-needed organization to a particular closet and will also save me time and money in the future.  

I organized our gift bags.  

I enjoy reusing, but my gift bag collection was overwhelming and was all stuffed in brown grocery bags.  That meant that each time I needed a bag, I had to dig through to find not only the right size of bag I needed, but I also had to find one that fit the event I was celebrating!  

I started by laying out all my bags on the bed according to size, then went through each size allowing myself to keep a maximum of three in each event/holiday for each size.

When I began, I had 84 bags in 11 different sizes!  Now I have 35 NICE bags separated into 5 different events/holidays.  

I only had to throw a few away and was able to set aside a considerable number for the free box at our upcoming garage sale and then recycle the rest.

After that project, I began scouring the basement storage shelves.  I found quiet a few things to give away.  We had a couple nice glass bowls we had planned on saving for special occasions and/or Feven's high school graduation party, but 16 years seems like a long time to hang onto something we don't regularly use so I'm parting with them.  I found some random recyclable containers (why was I keeping them?) and an air mattress with a hole.  I can see the shelves opening up now and it's exciting!

30 pounds

Our group has officially begun but there's still room for more to join!  We have a private Facebook group where we share stories and encourage one another.  Let me know if you want to join the challenge and I'll add you to our group.  It has been a source of much motivation and inspiration!

Lose a Ton: Trial Day 2

Before I was going to publicly ask others to join me in this endeavor to clean out a literal TON of things from our homes, I wanted to make sure it was actually possible.  I didn't want to ask something that would only frustrate or be sure to fail.

I began a week-long trial run about two weeks ago, and throughout this week, I'll share with you my journal entries from that trial.  If you missed Trial Day 1, click here!

Our group has officially begun but there's still room for more to join!  We have a private Facebook group where we share stories and encourage one another.  Let me know if you want to join the challenge and I'll add you to our group.  It has been a source of much motivation and inspiration!


TRIAL DAY 2
Our anniversary.  I did not time this well.  Also, a bunch of adoption fundraiser card orders came in, so I was blessed to package cards for hours today.  But it's our anniversary.  Wife fail.

Tonight I went easy - I grabbed the bin of my college textbooks.  I feel sheepish.  However, the point of this endeavor is not to be noble nor to overachieve...the point is to get rid of STUFF.

Parting with my textbooks reminds me why it's hard to part with stuff.  Stuff usually symbolizes other things.  For me, my textbooks symbolized an old dream to be a high school English teacher.  Getting rid of them feels a bit like giving up on that dream, so I kept a few, just in case...

21.2 pounds

Lose a Ton: Trial Day 1

Before I was going to publicly ask others to join me in this endeavor to clean out a literal TON of things from our homes, I wanted to make sure it was actually possible.  I didn't want to ask something that would only frustrate or be sure to fail.

I began a week-long trial run about two weeks ago, and in the next 7 days I'll share with you my journal entries from that trial.

Our group has officially begun and there's still room for more to join!  We have a private Facebook group where we share stories and encourage one another.  Let me know if you want to join the challenge and I'll add you to our group.  It has been a source of much motivation and inspiration!


TRIAL DAY 1
I didn't mean to start today, it just happened.  I opened up a drawer and started organizing and it began.  Then I went through my closet and took out the clothes that I still hang onto even though I don't like how they look on me (why do I do that?!?).  I sifted through a dusty under-the-bed box where I came across my high school Spanish notes (which didn't even make sense anymore).  I pulled from here and there without rhyme or reason, then proudly stood on the scale to see my total.

5.4 pounds.

That's it?  I took the stance of an athlete in a huddle, looked at Zac and said, "Okay, what else can I get rid of?"  I was determined to find 5 more pounds before the day was over.  I went into the kitchen and started going through the cupboards.  It's a project that I'll certainly have to resume later, but I grabbed some items to increase my weight to make my goal for today.  I got rid of a set of bowls I bought as a freshman in college and don't use anymore, an old camp mug, and a french bread pan.  I don't know why I thought I needed a french bread pan to make french bread.  Anyone want a french bread pan?  :)

12.4 pounds total.  And so much of the house left untouched.  I have a feeling 10 pounds a day will come quickly.  Maybe I should have raised my goal...

Lose a Ton...Literally

Simplicity is a theme that continues to find its way into my life.  I have come to believe that we are happier when we have less.  The idea that stuff makes us happy is a complete lie; instead, stuff often gives us more worry and work.

But collecting things can be so easy!  I go for anything labeled "Free" and can come up with a number of uses for that free item if I could only give it a little TLC.  The TLC takes time (and often money!) and I honestly never get around to it.  My home is a collection of many useful, special things, but also a place where unfinished projects get stashed and unread books fill boxes.

Just a few months ago I was overwhelmed by excess when I was switching out our seasonal clothes.  As I washed all of our winter jackets, mittens, hats, and sweaters one last time before they got stored away, I was struck by the HUGE amount of clothing my family has.  I had four gigantic piles of clothes spread around the living room to be washed.  But if you looked in our closets and dressers, you'd never know that any clothes were missing because each one of us still had so much in our wardrobes!

In my disgust, I went to my closet and counted my summer tops.  Between the tank tops, sleeveless, short-sleeved shirts and jackets, I had 35 tops.  Thirty-Five tops.  Sick!  I could wear one a day for over a month and be fine.  That screams excess to me.  (But a little voice in my head says, "Well, there are different tops for different occasions.  This one you can wear when you go out on the town.  This is for colder days in the summer.  These are for layering so they don't really count as one; they're a part of another.  This one only really goes with that one skirt...where is that skirt...?")

Ew.  I saw my wardrobe with new eyes.  Zac and I went through our closet and dresser and came up with three full bags of clothes to give away.  And I've got to be honest - he did WAY better than I did.  I have such emotional connections to my clothes!  He asked me the hard questions to help me evaluate my clothes such as, "Have you worn this in the last 6 months?  The last year?"  That helped, and it also helped to think about someone else enjoying it rather than it sitting unused in a closet for that one day a year when I might wear it.

My thoughts have been stirred by that day, and I want to do more.  I want to go through our entire house and give every THING we have a hard look.  Is it a helpful item?  Has this item been used in the last year?  Is that a picture I like looking at?  Do we need that many ____?  Is this knick-knack worth the weekly monthly dusting of it?  Do I need to keep that book or manual or can I access that information online?

As I've talked with friends I've heard my sentiments echoed.  Since I know that projects are more fun with friends, I'd like to invite 19 of you to journey along with me to create a cohort of 20 people to collaboratively remove 2,000 pounds of unused stuff from our homes.  Yep, let's get rid of a ton.

The parameters for this endeavor are as follows:

• Choose a 10-day period within the month of July.  These 10 days must be consecutive.
• Each day remove 10+ pounds from your home.
• Strive to give away or recycle the things you remove.  Send as little to the landfill as possible.
• Daily write in your journal, photograph your removed items, and record your removal weight.

I will share some photos, stories, and lessons learned from our group on my blog so whether or not you are participating you can journey along with us.  I can't wait to see what we discover through this experience!

If you are interested in participating, please email me at: amber (at) spectrum of amber (dot) com and tell me a little about yourself and why you would like to take this journey.


Frequently Asked Questions:
Why 10 consecutive days?
To transform the way we think about stuff.  This is more than just a project; it's an attempt to create a new habit and new mindset about how we acquire and why we acquire things. 

What if I'm getting rid of a piece of furniture?
Great!  But that doesn't mean you're done for the whole exercise!  You can put that weight toward your 10-pound goal for one day, and I encourage you to push yourself to get rid of a few other items on that particular day too.

What should I journal about?
Anything, really!  How did you feel about the work that day, was it easy?  Difficult?  What is your relationship to the stuff you eliminated?  What are you going to do with the extra space?  What was it like trying to get up to 10 pounds?

Why take pictures of the items?
To document your hard work and get a visual of all that you are removing from your home.  

Why weigh the items daily?
To hold yourself accountable and also to document the total pounds removed by our entire group.